About Me
- aimlesshighjinx
- I live my life as best i can. We are all human and we all make mistakes. It is what you do with those mistakes that counts
Monday, December 12, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Thursday turns to Friday on and on and on
Every day is a new beginning. A chance to start out fresh. Most things reset overnight.
Except emotions and memories. They linger and carry over.
I've been having the most amazing couple of months in my cozy little apartment with my cozy little roommate and my cozy group of random adventures. Dancing like a mad person. Striking up conversations with the most unlikely people. Also Despite my daily struggle with a few people i work with I'm really enjoying my job overall.
But today I watched a video about a lovestory that ended in tragedy and regret, naturally, and it made me miss being in love. I've tried to avoid love altogether since the Shane Curry Incident or lack of incident. Deep down i hope that everything will continue to be distant but that he will come back around like always. That isn't the case this time I'm afraid. He is unreachable and yet he holds my heart hostage somehow. Dramatic much?
The worst part about not being in love is i miss the disappointment associated with it. I mean the idea of have uncontrollable emotion swirling inside. Heartache and frustration. I've been so calm and accepting of everything that life has to throw at me and yet I'm bored. It's boring! I am NOT afraid to keep on living and I am NOT afraid to walk this world alone but I miss sharing my life with someone. I miss having that one person who loves me unconditionally. and frankly i never even had that. Even in a best friend there were still parts of my personality or even interest for that matter that were stifled. Even in the intimate one on one friendship i could not truly be who i am.
How does that happen? how is that i could love someone so much and still let them keep me from my true potential.
I kind of hope you read this. but i know that you won't you've moved on and so have i. Well as much as i can because i still love you so much because we are two parts of the bigger picture. But we are also two completely separate functioning entities. Mock me if you want, it doesn't hurt anymore. the universe or whatever brought you into my life to teach me so many lessons and i am forever grateful for that and for you.
I will never stop loving you. You have shared so much with me and I'm sorry for not loving you the way you deserve. You deserved to be appreciated so much more than i did. I wish I could go back. I wish you were still in my life. But all this pain has a greater purpose.
If we were still living together I know i would still be struggling with who I am. I would be confused and I would be holding you back.
sob sob sob where did this come from? long story short is there aren't enough words to say how sorry i am to this one person i have done so many disservices to. She is glorious and is going on to do great things.
I wish her best of luck! although she doesn't need it.
I am happy to say I am who I am thanks in part to our friendship. Good and Bad.
Cheers
Britt.
Except emotions and memories. They linger and carry over.
I've been having the most amazing couple of months in my cozy little apartment with my cozy little roommate and my cozy group of random adventures. Dancing like a mad person. Striking up conversations with the most unlikely people. Also Despite my daily struggle with a few people i work with I'm really enjoying my job overall.
But today I watched a video about a lovestory that ended in tragedy and regret, naturally, and it made me miss being in love. I've tried to avoid love altogether since the Shane Curry Incident or lack of incident. Deep down i hope that everything will continue to be distant but that he will come back around like always. That isn't the case this time I'm afraid. He is unreachable and yet he holds my heart hostage somehow. Dramatic much?
The worst part about not being in love is i miss the disappointment associated with it. I mean the idea of have uncontrollable emotion swirling inside. Heartache and frustration. I've been so calm and accepting of everything that life has to throw at me and yet I'm bored. It's boring! I am NOT afraid to keep on living and I am NOT afraid to walk this world alone but I miss sharing my life with someone. I miss having that one person who loves me unconditionally. and frankly i never even had that. Even in a best friend there were still parts of my personality or even interest for that matter that were stifled. Even in the intimate one on one friendship i could not truly be who i am.
How does that happen? how is that i could love someone so much and still let them keep me from my true potential.
I kind of hope you read this. but i know that you won't you've moved on and so have i. Well as much as i can because i still love you so much because we are two parts of the bigger picture. But we are also two completely separate functioning entities. Mock me if you want, it doesn't hurt anymore. the universe or whatever brought you into my life to teach me so many lessons and i am forever grateful for that and for you.
I will never stop loving you. You have shared so much with me and I'm sorry for not loving you the way you deserve. You deserved to be appreciated so much more than i did. I wish I could go back. I wish you were still in my life. But all this pain has a greater purpose.
If we were still living together I know i would still be struggling with who I am. I would be confused and I would be holding you back.
sob sob sob where did this come from? long story short is there aren't enough words to say how sorry i am to this one person i have done so many disservices to. She is glorious and is going on to do great things.
I wish her best of luck! although she doesn't need it.
I am happy to say I am who I am thanks in part to our friendship. Good and Bad.
Cheers
Britt.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Pre-Funking
Thanksgiving is this coming week I am soooo ready!
I want to share with you, in good round robin fashion, my list of thanks.
Mal, i can't even say shes my best friend. she is one of the most wonderfully flawed people i know. i love her to death. i'd be there for her no matter what silly risky stupid spot she might get herself into. Shes a horse of a different color
Thanks to a new friend Kat. She is a beautiful person trying to truly follow her own path with music with art with socializing. Unfortunately sometimes her concerns and honesty are misunderstood but she has a heart of gold. She isn't afraid of honesty as we all should be.
...Did i mention she's beautiful? Yes very much so. I'm smitten to say the very least.
I'm most thankful for the fact that I have a job that may not be much but it works. And a warm apartment and kitty cat to come home to every night. It's slowly becoming an amazing creative space for me. I feel inspired when i step inside. I feel compelled to keep it tidy. It's great!
And i am forever grateful for music. It's the most wonderful medicine out there!
This weekend was amazing and it's not even close to being over!
I spent a lovely evening with Miss Kat followed by a cozy breakfast this morning. No matter where we are or what we are doing there is an adventure to be had!
Tonight i spent a brief period with my Mallory just venting our jobly woes over wine and planning a craft date for Monday!
CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!!! AND I WANT TO DECORATE!
-make cookies
-make ornaments
-sew slippers
-knit scarves
-drink cocoa
-sing carols
it truly is the most wonderful time of the year!!!!
and i'm spent!
Sweet dreams of Sugar Plums to all my dear readers
I want to share with you, in good round robin fashion, my list of thanks.
Mal, i can't even say shes my best friend. she is one of the most wonderfully flawed people i know. i love her to death. i'd be there for her no matter what silly risky stupid spot she might get herself into. Shes a horse of a different color
Thanks to a new friend Kat. She is a beautiful person trying to truly follow her own path with music with art with socializing. Unfortunately sometimes her concerns and honesty are misunderstood but she has a heart of gold. She isn't afraid of honesty as we all should be.
...Did i mention she's beautiful? Yes very much so. I'm smitten to say the very least.
I'm most thankful for the fact that I have a job that may not be much but it works. And a warm apartment and kitty cat to come home to every night. It's slowly becoming an amazing creative space for me. I feel inspired when i step inside. I feel compelled to keep it tidy. It's great!
And i am forever grateful for music. It's the most wonderful medicine out there!
This weekend was amazing and it's not even close to being over!
I spent a lovely evening with Miss Kat followed by a cozy breakfast this morning. No matter where we are or what we are doing there is an adventure to be had!
Tonight i spent a brief period with my Mallory just venting our jobly woes over wine and planning a craft date for Monday!
CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!!! AND I WANT TO DECORATE!
-make cookies
-make ornaments
-sew slippers
-knit scarves
-drink cocoa
-sing carols
it truly is the most wonderful time of the year!!!!
and i'm spent!
Sweet dreams of Sugar Plums to all my dear readers
Monday, October 24, 2011
technology sucks and wouldnt let me update my super awesome update video
edit:november 9th
i've been lagging dear readers....I have the perfect concept for my etsy shop now its a matter of getting all the right people to pull it off. I have a lovely photographer friend who has agreed to shoot my stuff. AND did i mention that my flowers are in a real honest to goodness vintage shop owned by the lovely and badass Hotrod Heidi?
shes pretty grand! i can't wait to hear back at the end of the month to see if anything sold!!! I'm happy that i got them in there before their big $20 Halloween Tattoo weekend! hopefully that helped. I'm Nervous!!!!!??!
edit:november 9th
i've been lagging dear readers....I have the perfect concept for my etsy shop now its a matter of getting all the right people to pull it off. I have a lovely photographer friend who has agreed to shoot my stuff. AND did i mention that my flowers are in a real honest to goodness vintage shop owned by the lovely and badass Hotrod Heidi?
shes pretty grand! i can't wait to hear back at the end of the month to see if anything sold!!! I'm happy that i got them in there before their big $20 Halloween Tattoo weekend! hopefully that helped. I'm Nervous!!!!!??!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The Rainnbow Collective
As you may or may not know I'm quite crafty. I love making things that really just add a little extra joy to a chance encounter.
As it just so happens I am terrible at keeping things in full momentum but yesterday I set up my etsy for real. Well I at least Started an account. I am The Rainbow Collective!!! I am most excited to get back in the swing of things and made it my personal goal to have things up on there by the end of September. Now it seems like such a waste to have a 100 gallon tote brimming with vintage finds, awesome t-shirts and hair flowers and nothing is happening with them!
And even though everyone and their mom has an etsy it's at least a start. Followed by legit business cards and networking at the bars. Seriously i talked to a gal who sold her all-natural cleaning products out of her car at a bar. People are friendly people are wasted and people have cash! That's terrible but what a great story!
Another goal of mine is to keep up on my music. Whether it be being more adventurous in my music selection or actually picking up a duet book for me and Posiden to practice. I love music, and would rather not think about when I'm old and gray (or RAINBOW!) and can't hear a damn thing.
Anyways...Halloween is also upon us. I've got a couple costumes in mind but my main event is Mermaid. Ever so excited i will post my process.
Check out these songs if you have a moment!
La Roux- "In For the Kill" (Skrillex Remix)
I was really over everyone mentioning dubstep but when the bass drops i just want to dance and rage and just cut a mutha fuckin rug....:D
Freestyles- "Cracks" (Flux Pavillion Remix)
Basically when this comes on Pandora is a deal breaker....even if the previous six songs where nowhere near as good. Usually it sets the tone for the next few.
Oh Pandora old reliable. I only recently discovered it as a solution to the lack of computer access and music on my iPhone. Huzzah to free music kids. But the problem with it on my phone is that there are almost no options as far as customizing my station. If i get tired of songs i can't request them to stop playing like i can online i can skip a few and dislike a few but ultimately they come up again. But that's just me :D
Lastly a shout out to my doppelganger Max Nelson my most wonderful partner in crime lately. Two words Surly Disposition. But in a good way folks. It's ok to be blunt or frank and not tolerate people feeding you bullshit. Some people need desperately to be called out in the moment i know i do and i really appreciate that in people. I might not appear very grateful at the moment but at least it calls me to recount my actions or words.
Sigh. Also I relayed some information about myself to Michael my roommate in hopes that later it will help us to have a better understanding of each other. It was Difficult to bring up in a calm and collected manor but I think i did better than i have. It's a long road to acceptance and letting these feelings go but I'm doing alright
That's enough for tonight. I wish you all the sweetest dreams unimaginable.
Cheers!
-Brit
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
micro and macro
AUTO FILL!!!!
I just thanked the Internet Gods a million times over for auto fill....One of the most annoying things to do for me is internet applications. No matter how subjective each and every one of them has their own special glitch. So I'm already not enjoying myself thoroughly I went to submit and my resume was in the wrong format and when I went to resubmit it had cleared out my entire application.....
waaaaah!!?! That is the white flag atop my giant cake of defeat but the Internet Gods took pity on me and allowed me to revive it. aahhh what a relief. After that getting the job would be...excuse the overuse of puns related to food, but icing on the cake.
SPEAKING OF CAKE! you remember mentionings of a certain artistic release via mural? where here is a little taste of what I've been up to. This is my very own piece of the wall! I'm pleased as punch at how well it turned out but theres still a bit of lining to do. Supplies are pretty limited so I had to go out and buy some smaller brushes which is totally fine considering this wonderful soul soaring activity is free whenever I can get over there!
A friend introduced me to my new favorite phrase the other night. Crystal Children! Basically anyone who seems maybe a tad bit ADD or just out of place. They really are not out of place they are just performing at a whole other level beyond this time. Futuristic perhaps? whatever it is I'm diggin' it.
So Crystal Kids enjoy the lovely extended summer we're having soak up enough Vitamin D to hold you through the winter and make sure your aboads are decorated with bright and cheery things!
Cheers!
waaaaah!!?! That is the white flag atop my giant cake of defeat but the Internet Gods took pity on me and allowed me to revive it. aahhh what a relief. After that getting the job would be...excuse the overuse of puns related to food, but icing on the cake.
SPEAKING OF CAKE! you remember mentionings of a certain artistic release via mural? where here is a little taste of what I've been up to. This is my very own piece of the wall! I'm pleased as punch at how well it turned out but theres still a bit of lining to do. Supplies are pretty limited so I had to go out and buy some smaller brushes which is totally fine considering this wonderful soul soaring activity is free whenever I can get over there!
A friend introduced me to my new favorite phrase the other night. Crystal Children! Basically anyone who seems maybe a tad bit ADD or just out of place. They really are not out of place they are just performing at a whole other level beyond this time. Futuristic perhaps? whatever it is I'm diggin' it.
So Crystal Kids enjoy the lovely extended summer we're having soak up enough Vitamin D to hold you through the winter and make sure your aboads are decorated with bright and cheery things!
Cheers!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
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