First thing I do is tell myself to stay busy. No time for creative projects. I don't have time to journal. I don't need it. Pick back up on bad habits like smoking and eating junk. A thoughtful mention of drinking for less than anything other than just hanging out at home...
I stop listening and discovering music. I stop using it as my coping mechanism. Now that I'm driving constantly I realize how completely necessary it is for my anxiety especially in traffic.
I think about this blog and how no one has ever read it. How its just here to remind me of the peaks in my mental stability.
The last year is especially telling. I haven't felt this lightness in my heart...ever that I remember. I'm slowly becoming responsible with corrective behavior to avoid falling into a dark hole of depression. Not to say that I'm perfect as it still happens.
Recently I got a cold and felt so helpless and lonely. I let myself get so wrapped up in not having anyone to take care of me that I was very broken for a few days which, in my experience, does not help the healing process. Luckily modern society brought me all the essentials via Amazon Prime Now. But it was so hard to get there. I felt the full effect of that downward regression for at least a week as I slowly regained my full health.
I was reminded that more importantly than being independent is the decisions that come with it. I took a job that seemed too good to be true and threw a huge roadblock up in my financial progress. I am reminded to not go blindly into situations and to listen to my intuitions. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.
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